By Vjekoslav Rosandić
"The Snowman" should have been a slam dunk... Based on a popular series of detective novels,
the film is directed by Tomas Alfredson, whose previous credits include the
wonderful "Let the Right One in" and "Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy." This is a guy who
knows how to develop a chilly story, full of mood and creepy atmosphere. It
stars Michael Fassbender in the lead role and in this humble reviewer's
opinion, Fassbender is the best actor in Hollywood right now. The supporting
cast is nothing to sneeze at either: Rebecca Ferguson, J.K. Simmons, Charlotte
Gainsbourg, Val Kilmer, Toby Jones... It's executive produced by Martin
Scorsese. This paragraph is nothing but
credits for a reason: to make a point that this film should have been an
instant classic. What it ended up becoming is the worst thriller I've seen in
years..
Harry Hole
(Fassbender) is a detective in the Oslo Police Department who is known as a
genius at cracking cases that seem extremely difficult to crack. He's also a
chain smoking alcoholic, barely I’m control of his life. It seems that the only
calming element he has are his ex-girlfriend (Gainsbourg) and her son. Harry
stumbles upon a case of a serial killer who leaves snowmen at the scenes of his
crimes. Harry is joined by a young detective (Ferguson) who has a past
connected to the snowman murders...
If you haven’t
seen the movie and you’re reading this review, the synopsis may sound
interesting to you. Unfortunately, this is a very bad movie and the problems
are many.
First of all, as much as I love Fassbender, he just doesn’t work
here. I understand the character is supposed to be a drunk, but he just seems
bored, like he knows he's in a turd. He really needs to step up his game,
because between this, Assassin’s Creed and The Light Between Oceans, he's
starting to lose a lot of good will.
Rebecca Ferguson
is one of my favourite up and coming actresses (she stole Mission: Impossible
from under Tom Cruise’s nose), but she’s got nothing to do here. The screenplay
tries to give her an interesting, dramatic backstory, but it’s buried under a
ton of other side characters and sub plots, and the way she is dealt with in
the end is very unsatisfactory.
J.K. Simmons is
another amazing actor who gets nothing to do (See a pattern here?) His
character appears to have a possibly interesting back story, but it’s just
dropped and Simmons is out of the movie almost as quickly as he enters it.
But the most
baffling element in front of the camera is Val Kilmer. It's hard to describe
what exactly he's doing... You just have to see it to believe it. It's the
weirdest performance I've seen in ages. Oh yeah, Toby
Jones is in the movie for... Some... Reason.
As bad as all
these elements are, the biggest culprit is director Tomas Alfredson, who seems
way over his head here. His pacing is sloppy, he doesn’t know how to create
palpable tension and he doesn’t let any of his side characters and sub plot’s
breathe properly. When the most tension filled aspect of your movie is whether
Oslo is going to host a winter sporting event and not the murders, you really
have to re-think your story. The solution to the story is one of stupid
coincidence and will have you rolling your eyes. And this is another one of
those thrillers where the killer has a tragic childhood backstory which
explains why he’s doing what he's doing.
I hated The
Snowman. I hated it for it’s sloppy storytelling, uninteresting characters, sub
plot’s that go nowhere. But most of all, I hated it because of what it should
have been. It should have been a modern classic, something to remember...
Such as it is,
it will only be remembered as the first (and last) big screen adventure of
Harry Hole [D]